i loved you then, and i love you now
by silver tears and wasted fears
Summary: "He guesses he can't be mad at her for leaving. He never asked her to stay." A series of unrelated puckleberry drabbles. Just a dump for things that I write of puckleberry nature that don't have any particular point. Will feature pezberry friendship, among many others. Rated T for language.
1. margaritas and microwave pizzas

**IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: a/n- Okay, so before you read this go listen to "Fucking Best Song Ever" by Wallpaper. If you haven't heard that, this won't make much sense. This is just a pointless drabble. For some reason, I kept seeing this scene in my head so I just decided to write it. It didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to, but I decided to just post it anyway. I promise the ones to come will be better, so please story alert it so you can see those. Also, the title of this collection is from the song 'tongue tied' by grouplove. They performed it on Glee as well. Okay, go listen to the song, I hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'fucking best song ever' by Wallpaper, nor do I own glee. If I did, Rachel and Finn would not have lasted as long as they had... **

Puck enters his apartment quietly at two a.m. because he knows Rachel's probably passed out after rehearsal and he doesn't want to wake her. He smells like smoke from work and he's tired as hell and he just wants to take a shower and then curl up and cuddle (fuck you, his girl's hot, he likes being all wrapped up with her). As he walks into his apartment he hears giggles and realizes that his girl's definitely not asleep and is instead partying in the kitchen with her best friend. He pauses before he enters because her and Santana can get a little crazy and who knows what he's going to find?

He enters and sees Rachel and Santana drunk and giggling on the floor, falling all over each other. There's margaritas in their hands and (vegan) pizza on the floor (no plate, could only happen when Rachel's drunk) and even though he's tired, he can't help but grin at seeing their craziness. Rachel's wearing his FDNY shirt and nothing else and Santana is legit wearing just her bra and underwear, but Puck still thinks Rachel is the hottest thing he's ever seen.

"Noahhhh!" Rachel shrieks when she sees him, before hopping up and jumping into his arms. He expected as much, and he catches her before attaching their lips in a very hot kiss. He doesn't take it further though because Santana's there and they're drunk and even though they've gone down that road before (and it was fucking hot), they promised it'd be a one-time thing.

"B, what are you doing?" He says. "And why do you have margaritas and microwave pizza on the floor?"

"The song!" She squeals, and Santana hits a button on her phone and the music for "Fucking Best Song Ever" by Wallpaper starts to play and then he gets it.

See, Rachel and Santana have this weird thing where they get drunk and sing songs and they're always very… literal. Puck will never forget the time when he came home to find them singing Don't Rain on My Parade while sculpting balls of butter. So, he pulls up a chair and watches them because he knows it's going to be a while and there is no way he can go to sleep with them in the house.

So, he watches them as they begin to sing.

"_My name's Santana and I'm an alcoholic…" _Santana drawls. "_Not for real, but what else do you caaaaaall this_?"

Rachel and Santana sing the next lines about being in a club to each other and he rolls his eyes. He knows it's totally fucking gay (he'd never let Rachel hear him say that though. But, obviously he doesn't mean it like _that. _For fuck's sake, Blaine is his best friend!) to say this but, these girls are silly. Seriously. He doesn't know what other word for it, besides bat shit crazy. Okay, they're bat shit crazy and silly.  
Santana sings the next lines while Rachel climbs onto his lap.  
"Look, Noah!" she giggles. "You have a college grad chick straddling you, just like the song!" She says before pecking him on the lips and getting up.

"_Ch-ch-check my Spanish_!" They sing and then begin to dance together, singing the lines while looking into each other's eyes.

"_Mamacita, te necesito. Soy ebrio. That's all the words I know_." Rachel presses a chaste kiss to Santana's lips and when they pull apart Santana raises an eyebrow at Puck. He just rolls his eyes though, because yeah Santana had feelings for Rach for a while, but Rachel was more than content with him. And now Santana is head over heels for some chick named Stacy so he's not worried.

He watches them dance around the kitchen and grins, because Rachel's his girl, and Santana's one of his best friends, and they're basically the two most important people in the world to him. Maybe it's a pussy thing to say, but seeing them so happy makes him happy.

Rachel falls into his lap and he pulls her closer, kissing her neck and grinning when she lets out a content sigh. Santana climbs onto the table next to him and sings the next part to the both of them.

"_Best friends, you are my fucking best friends!" _She sings, placing her hand against Rachel's cheek lovingly. Rachel just starts to lean into it before Santana pulls back and continues to dance. "_Seriously, it's like the best night ever!"_

She hops off the table and pulls Rachel out of his lap and although he'd never admit this, he whines. What? He liked having her against him!  
Now she and Santana are twirling around the kitchen, screaming the lyrics. He's really fucking glad they have the penthouse apartment suite because he wouldn't want some angry neighbor to start pounding on the wall.

"_This song? I'm really feeling this song! This song? Fucking best song ever_!" Then they fall on the ground in a fit of giggles and he rolls his eyes before taking Santana's phone and turning it off.

"_Noooooaaaaahhh!" _Rachel whines. "We haven't gotten to the bit about margaritas and microwave pizzas yet!" She squeals.

"Puuuuuuuuuuck." Santana says because she knows better than to call him Noah. "What are you doing?"

"It's time for bed. Come on." He says, reaching put his hands and pulling them both up. They have identical pouts on their face but take his assistance anyway. He gives Santana a blanket and a pillow and lets her set herself up in the guest room; she's been there enough times.

When he goes into the kitchen and sees Rachel falling asleep while lying back on the floor, he decides to forget the shower; he just wants to lay with his girl. He scoops her up into his arms and carries her to bed. Despite her original protests, she is already half asleep when he lays her down. He lies down and pulls her flush against him, resting his chin in the crook of her shoulder.

"Mm," Rachel sighs, "love you, No'."

He grins because she only calls him that when she's really drunk or really sleepy, and in this case it's both. He places a soft kiss just below her ear.

"Love you too, babe."


	2. childhood fantasies

**A/N: So, this is really short, and I spent like... twenty minutes on it, tops. It just sort of came to me this morning and I felt like writing it. I think it's kind of cute though, I hope you enjoy! **

Here's the thing: there was a tiny part of her that always sort of believed she would end up with Noah Puckerman.

It's just… they sort of grew up together. Okay, maybe not together, but… _around _each other. They weren't best friends or anything. They didn't put on big shows at the JCC. They didn't share grape slushies while keeping an eye on his hellion of a little sister. But, he was always... there. They were each other's first kisses on the play ground at age seven. She baked him cookies when she found out his dad left. He pushed Jacob Ben Israel in the sand box after he tried to kiss her against her will.

She just always assumed she'd end up with someone who was Jewish, someone from home, who would travel to New York with her. The only other option in her age range was Jacob, and that was _obviously _not something she would ever even consider. And, they kind of knew each other, the little things. She knows that the nickname "Puck" actually came from their camp counselor when she likened him to the mischievous sprite from _A Midsummer Night's Dream. _He knows that she had no idea what Broadway was until age six, that singing was just something she liked to do, and she wanted to open up her own bakery called _Berry's Berry Good Goods _(yeah, at five years old, the name seemed pretty great). They never really talked but it just kind of seemed inevitable.

Then they got together in high school and he was picking glee (_her)_ over football and it seemed like she was right. But he wasn't head over heels for her, and she wasn't for him either. Then there was Finn, Quinn, and a baby with his eyes that was handed over to a woman with hers. And it all just seemed to be a distant memory. A childhood fantasy that she might fondly look back on one day while on another man's arm.

But then all of a sudden she's on a train headed to New York, single, and he forms a heart with his hands. She's still very much in love with someone else at the moment, and they haven't talked that much this year, but she knows his post-graduation plans were kind of shot and she briefly entertains the idea of… maybe.

And seven months later, when he shows up at her dorm room, she finds that little Rachel was smarter than she had ever given herself credit for.

**So... did you like it? If so, review! And story alert for more! (and if for some reason you loved it, you should add it to your favorites list)**


	3. i wanted you to see me

**IMPORTANT A/N (please read): So, when I started this, I had plans for it to be a full fledged one shot that would stand alone, but then I sort of lost my initial drive for it, so drabble it is! Sorry it took me so long to update, lack of inspiration. Which leads me to my next point... prompts! I love love love love love prompts. Please give me prompts to fill for this story. Or just give me prompts in general to write, but specifically if you follow this story, puck/rachel prompts! I'll take any kind: just a single word, and image, based on a movie, give me a sentence or a piece of dialogue.. anything! So if you like this collection, and would like to see it updated more frequently, please prompt me. **

The first time Rachel Berry ever speaks to Noah Puckerman, it's in between sobs on a playground outside of the JCC at age five.

She had been sitting next to the slide, practicing her autograph in a pink little notebook with gold stars on the cover over and over and over again when he ran past. She looked up and smiled because even though they'd never spoken, the other day when Jacob sat next to her, he pushed Jacob out of the seat before taking it. She's never had a friend before, but she thinks he could be her first.

So when he comes up and spills grape juice all over her head and drenches the notebook with _Rachel Berry * _written perfectly thirty times, she blinks a few times in confusion. And then she burst into tears.

She's sobbing loudly and uncontrollably and through her tears she can see his face wearing an expression of alarm. He crouches down in front of her and pries the notebook from her hands, and attempts to wipe the juice from the page. That only makes it worse, the ink smearing all over the place. She wails and she wails and doesn't stop until all of a sudden he's hugging her. She quiets and tenses in his arms.

"Wh- what are you doing?" She says. He just poured something on top of her head and now he's _hugging _her. What is going on?  
He pulls back and speaks "I'm sorry, Rachel. I was just mean to you because I like you and wanted you to see me. I didn't want you to cry though. Seeing you cry makes me sad. Please don't hate me." He's pouting and she's gigging because he _likes _her. No boy has ever liked her before. It makes her feel funny in her tummy.

She grabs her hand in his and smiles brightly, displaying the gaps where her two front teeth should be.

"It's okay! I'd never hate you."

X

Ten years later, after he's poured another grape beverage down her face, that's what she's thinking of. "_I was just mean to you because I like you and wanted you to see me." _She looks at the cackling students around her and wonders if the same rules still apply. Would her crying still make him sad? Would that make him stop this now daily ritual?

She thinks the answer might be yes, but she can't test the theory. She doesn't want to give these other kids the satisfaction.

**A/N: Enjoy it? If so, drop me a line! I adore reviews and would really appreciate it. Also, raeganb123: (i'm writing this to you here because I know you follow this story, thanks for that by the way) I AM working on your finn/rachel prompt. I started it, but am having trouble getting it to come out like I hoped, but just know that I didn't forget about it! **


	4. towering over your head

**A/N: Well, this one is incredibly short, but these are DRABBLES so, I think that's allowed... I'll probably have a follow up to this. oh! This was inspired by 'Remembering Sunday' by All Time Low. **

It is two thirty on a Monday afternoon when Mr. Schuester tells them. He says that he has some disappointing news. He tells them Rachel left. She packed a bag, and left a note, saying she'd gone to New York because Lima was 'sucking the life out of her' and she couldn't wait any longer. She didn't say where or how. She didn't promise any sort of contact in the future. She just left.

Puck doesn't believe him at first. He just saw her yesterday. She came over and made him breakfast and then they watched movies. At seven, when it was time for her to leave, she wrapped him in a hug and then kissed him softly before whispering a "Goodbye, Noah" against his lips. And he didn't think about it then, he was so happy from that tiny kiss and now… and now he thinks he's a fucking idiot.

He supposes he can't be mad at her for leaving. It's not like he ever asked her to say.

**A/N: Guys, if you like these, and want to see more... PLEASE prompt me. I would really appreciate it immensely. Any sort of prompt! A sentence, a word, an entire plot line, a picture... i'll take anything! Oh, and please review! I really appreciate them C: **


	5. cute hands

**A/N: written for day one of the 30 day otp challenge that I found on tumblr- holding hands!**

Rachel sighed as she stepped out of the bathroom stall, displeased with the conversation she had overheard. Two junior cheerios had been in the room, wondering aloud at how she could possibly have roped in a self-proclaimed badass like Noah Puckerman. They had to do it within the privacy of the bathroom because with Noah as her boyfriend and Santana as her best friend, uttering those words in the halls would have resulted in an extra grueling practice designed with them in mind, if they weren't kicked off the Cheerio Squad entirely.

After they went back in forth in awe about the relationship, a third cheerio who had been silent earlier stated "Well, I heard Manhands gives great head." And they accepted that as answer. Although, that is a true statement, Rachel _is _quite adept at that particular act (no gag reflex, remember?), that is most certainly _not_ the sole reason why Noah is with her. In fact, the sole reason is not of any sexual nature. (That's just a bonus.)

However, seeing as that was a bit of a backhanded compliment, that wasn't what Rachel was concerned with. She was displeased with the nickname 'Manhands'. To this day, four years after she had originally been dubbed with that name, she was unable to comprehend that title. She stared at her hands as she washed them in the sink. What about them were manly? They were small. However, not overly small because she _herself _was small as Noah pointed out frequently, fondly calling her his 'midget'. (Even though that term was politically incorrect and she did _not _fit the requirements of a little person!)

And it wasn't as though her nails were ghastly as the nails of men can be. She always received regular manicures, even more so since she became friends with Santana who used her cheerios discount to swing cheap ones for the both of them. She can understand why perhaps people would critique her attitude and her fashion, but for the life of her, 'manhands'? Not something she'd ever understand.

She brushed the thought from her mind as she went into the lunchroom, seated between Noah and Santana. Sam, sitting across from her, asked her a movie related question and she launched into a rant, flailing her hands about as she did so. At the end of it, when she had thoroughly explained her point, Noah grabbed her hand from beside her.

"You have cute hands, you know that?" he said with a smile. He then held her hand for the rest of lunch as he argued with Artie about if which Back to the Future movie was the best.

Rachel smiled brightly for the rest of the day. Noah may not be good with words, but he somehow always knew the right thing to say.

**A/N: Did you guys catch that Lark throwback? In that one interview when the whole interview Mark is just staring at her hands and then he grabs them and says "You have cute hands, you know that?" Ugh, be still my shipper heart. **

**ANYWAY, I have a math problem, can you guys help me out? 18 people are following this story. (Yay, by the way!) And yet... eight reviews. And, three of those reviews are from the same person. (thanks raeganb123!) so, that would mean... 13 people who have NEVER reviewed? Am I right? Who wants to help remedy that? Seriously, guys, I would appreciate reviews SO MUCH. They not only make my heart sing, but they encourage me to write faster! So, if everyone who is following this story just reviewed ONE TIME if you haven't yet, I would be so very grateful. **

**ALSO, PROMPTS. I'm just like any other girl in need of inspiration. Do you have a puckleberry scene playing out in your head that you've absolutely been DYING to read? Then give it to me and i'll write it for you! Please, prompts make my day almost as much as reviews. If you left me a review WITH A PROMPT, I might just die. And then come back to life and write it for you!**


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